Charlie Hebdo is the New Spokesperson
Thanks for your readiness to be shocked.
You need to be yanked from complacent
seats. The opposition is crabbing, tiptoeing
unredacted, taxing towards no returns.
From now on the offending conference
isn’t a democracy. Thanks for your whys,
but if you gullible isn’t swampier than
the golf course, swallow your bogey on
your way to the restroom. Twitter will be
the echo chamber, but no sounding board
shall pronounce “lies.” I’ve ordered the garden
shorn of roses. Don’t flash me that woody
smile. The country club swarms with tigers,
and the medal is hardly for freedom. How all
you can but it’s a tough spot. The principled
stand feathers his mad hat, but enablers buy
shoes, too. Don’t McDonald’s burger and Coke
anxieties. Pinocchio is an Emperor. On your
way out go to the table by the teleprompter,
where orange hair plugs are more expensive
than the truth. The daily press brief is now an
annual event. News is no longer necessary.
—Jonel Abellanosa